Remedies for a Weary Soul

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Daisies3There was that time when Scott and I wired a substantial chunk of money to a friend overseas we thought was in desperate need. It ended up being a scam—something my friend did not know about.

We felt betrayed. We felt like fools. There was shame and shock.

I remember how we sank into the couches that night, the wind knocked out of our sails. We had the ipod on the worship playlist and we both fell asleep and I remember not wanting to get up from under the sound of God over us. We stayed there all night. The music soothed and healed places that words simply couldn’t.

Yesterday was a hard day on many fronts. It came after a weekend when Scott was home only to sleep and the kids had a myriad of activities. On Sunday night, my soul felt weary.

I tucked in the kids; then disappeared into my sacred writing space. (Yes, I am so ridiculously thankful for this space.) I turned on some worship music and I just sat there, turning my heart to God. I wasn’t able to do much more than just sit there in the sound, trusting God would fill me in the dry, lonely and tired places.

I’d love to say I felt better, but I didn’t. The heaviness was still there.

Then yesterday.

Around 11am I got a text from Claire to say SheLoves was down. A server issue. I emailed, messaged, called and texted the person who hosts us, but I couldn’t get ahold of her. She probably didn’t expect an emergency, because this hasn’t happened much in the last several years.

God, this is Your site, I prayed. I’m pretty sure You can handle it. Help us get back up as soon as possible.

But when time dragged on, I wondered: Perhaps this is about something more than directing traffic to the site? Perhaps this is a time out to make sure we all stopped and prayed for women in our world facing abusive situations.

You see, our story yesterday was about a woman whose husband had hired a hit man to kill her. It didn’t seem like our server issue was random. In fact, every month when we host our Stop the Silence story, we have some kind of fight on our hands.

I decided to turn the waiting and the feeling of disconnectedness into intercession for our sisters. I prayer walked and tweeted prayers. I turned all the feelings into prayers. I also asked our prayer team, our editorial team and our SheLoves community to come alongside us and pray.

The SheLovelys rallied! And I loved how we turned that moment of anguish into intercession and community.

Deborah’s* story was a very real story of abuse at its ugliest. And yet she is a story of Hope. Out of the ashes, she’s found strength to help others now.

What a valiant woman.

As soon as our site was back up, I had to walk into a particularly hard meeting that lasted the rest of the afternoon.

So, today, I am nursing a weary soul.

I had a good cry with Scott over the phone and made a cup of the strongest steeped tea. I turned on the oven and made granola. I’m writing it out. I’m making plans for the future.

Today, I am appreciating beauty.

– The three fuchsia Gerber daisies in a vase on the coffee table.

– The smell of vanilla, honey and grapeseed oil heating in the saucepan.

– An orchid at the front door.

When my soul is weary, I can’t chew on strong truths. I need simple beauty.

There are hard times, even with God, and I am gathering tools for those hard days. On those days when my own soul is too weary to even tell me what it needs.

In her book Simple Abundance: A Daybook of Comfort and Joy, Sarah Ban Breathnach says, “Life requires that we prepare ourselves for the inevitable times that try our souls. This is achieved with a comfort drawer.” It’s for those nights when all you want to do is “pull the covers over your head and never come out.” She fills it with chocolate truffles, miniature fruit cordials, her favourite homeopathic essence, luxurious magazines, bubble bath and unusual teas.

I haven’t had a comfort drawer in a while, mostly because I realize the things that fill my soul aren’t always tangibles. I need beauty, words that build strength back into my bones and kindness.

So, today I’m making a list for myself. I’ll be printing it off and keeping it in my comfort drawer, so I can pull it out for days like today.

11 Remedies

Also (final note to self), chew on this: God renews my strength. God renews my strength. God renews my strength.

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Question: What would be in your comfort drawer or on your list of remedies? 

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** Disclosure : Amazon Affiliate links included in this post.  If you click through to Amazonany purchase you make supports SheLoves Media Society.

 

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  • Jody Ohlsen Collins

    Wow, clicked on over via Ms. Sarah B. So glad I did. I love the way the Holy Spirit gave you comfort for the rest of us out what you were comforted with. Life is hard. But God…. thank you for this.

    • http://www.idelette.com idelette

      I so appreciate that Ms Sarah B. Thankful you could find comfort here too, Jody. *Locking arms.* xo

  • Bev Murrill

    ‘Mama always said there’d be days like this… there’d be days like this…’ (sung melodically in the background… you get the picture)

    Dear one… You are strong and beautiful. No matter what happens, you seem to choose right (I’m sure there are days when you don’t, but … ) when we look at your journey, we love and appreciate and admire your courageous stance.

    We love you so much… xx

  • Nicole A. Joshua

    Roar, my friend, roar. Your post hit the nail on the head, Idelette! My comfort drawer includes: chocolate, vanilla tea, Woolworths black pepper and sea salt chips, a walk in Kirstenbosch, the company of good friends, something/someone that makes me laugh, my hubby’s arms around me. Thank you so much for writing your heart. You are such a gift. Love you!

  • Julie Cochrane

    Thank you for being so real about life Idelette – always appreciate the honesty that comes through this blog. One thing that generates a lot of joy for me is a daily journal my grandkids and I keep. We call it the Happy Book. Every time we’re together (which is almost every day) we write something in it which made us happy today. It’s becoming a habit to look for the good things God is bringing our way.

  • http://www.clairecolvin.ca/ Claire Colvin

    This is perfectly timed and perfectly lovely. Thank you.

  • http://www.adoptingdivinemoments.com Tessy

    I used to have a comfort drawer… I called it my squirrels nest… snacks, goodies, pictures (usually silly ones), quotes that inspired. I need to make one again, for the blah days.

  • http://www.penwisperer451.com/ Ziva bat Binyamin

    ” … mostly because I realise the things that fill my soul aren’t always tangibles. I need beauty, words that build strength back into my bones and kindness.” Today, I seem to be in the same or similar place as you are. Your words quoted here are indeed building ‘strength back into my bones’ … and my soul … because “my own soul is too weary to tell me what it needs.” Thank you, Idelette, for reminding me of what makes me come alive!! xx

  • http://untoldstoriesabout.us/ Untold Stories About Us

    Thank you Idellete. I needed this.

    Things I would put in my comfort drawer:

    — favorite books I like to re-read like Daring Greatly or Carry on Warrior.
    — my journal
    — coffee and tea
    — relaxing bath salts

    Things I do to feed/rest my soul:

    — Take a bath in candlelight with bubbles or bath salts with quiet music on
    — Yoga
    — Running
    — Watch a sunrise
    — Look at flowers
    — Read
    — Write
    — Call one of my people — the close ones
    — Add to my pinterest empowerment board
    — Get on SheLoves

  • Leah Kostamo

    Thank you for opening your heart, Idelette!!! My list would include many of your things: latte — yes!, music — yes!, talk to a friend — yes! And also, read Richard Rohr and go outside.

  • Sandy Hay

    I’ve been thinking a lot about this. Worship music would be #1…to allow it to wash over me and get my focus upward. 2. photos and voices of my grandkids 3. Message Bible 4. Your Love Manifesto 5. Psalm 23 (KJV)…over and over again. 6. The Lord’s Prayer

  • Saundie

    Thank you so much for your post! I read this on the exact day I needed it. I love your list of remedies, too. #7 is important, and although I find it easier to turn inward, this is often what revives me. Another one I’d add is going through the Bible and books that I’ve read and re-reading my highlights and underlines. I often need those truths called out to me–again. Thank you for your words.

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  • http://www.circlingthestory.com/ Ashley Hales

    Simply lovely. I’m thinking that so often my little comforts aren’t savored, they’re snatched at like a starved person snatches at food. And then I gulp down chocolate and tea and words. Some of it is just to catch up on all the doing that being a mama requires; some of it is a ploy for my easily distracted soul. Great thoughts.

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