The Year of I am.


Today I am remembering some of the Big Moments of this year.

Like the day I stepped off the plane in Nairobi as if right into the skin I’ve always had and realized:

1. I am African.

I came home to myself in Kenya this year. I was both welcomed and sent off with words that affirmed my identity: “Oh, so you are an African!”

Yes, yes, I am. I can now say it confidently, proudly and with so much gratitude.

Then this morning Reggie Nel, a South African tweep I’ve never actually met in real life, but is a brother and friend, tweeted this:

“When I say Africa for African I mean those, of any colour, who accept Africa as home. Colour does not mean anything to me.” –Robert Sobukwe

I know this: I may not live in Africa now, but Africa will always live in me.

If you’d like to read more about my big African moment, here are three posts I wrote about it:

2. I am Canadian.

Then there’s the fact that I am an immigrant, Canadian and married into a wonderful blended family. One of the most joyous and significant moments of my year, was the day I spent with Grandma Linda (then 97).

Last Christmas we’d bought her tickets to go see the Women’s Curling at the Vancouver Winter Olympics. We had a date.

On that Tuesday we almost ran out of gas and I had the hardest time finding parking close to the venue. But Grandma wore Canadian red and we laughed our way through the day. In the end we sat an arm’s length away from the Canadian women’s team.

I soaked up Grandmas’s stories of curling with frozen jam cans when she was a teenager in The Pas, Northern Manitoba. She patiently informed me on the nuances of curling. We shared a hot dog and orange juice and we still talk about that day. I won’t forget it.

Grandma is one of the reasons I am so thankful to be Canadian.

3. I am … is enough.

This moment came early in the year. I think I tweeted it. More importantly, I heard the words: “You are enough” and cemented them in my soul. Knowing this–and believing this–go hand in hand with understanding where I stand, Whose I am. Knowing that I am rooted and established in Love.

I can’t hear this enough.

(Now, looking at this Halloween picture again, I might have to agree that I’m not only enough, but probably plenty.)

What’s next? Tomorrow I’d love to share a list of some of the Big Little Moments of the past year. I hope you’ll check back and tell me some of yours too.

On leaving a comment: You might not know this, but when you leave a comment, it’s like you’d just baked me a fresh cupcake, pulled an organic carrot from your own garden, or handed me a latte. Words mean a whole lot to me. They might even mean more than an iPad. (You get the picture.) So, thanks for connecting with your words and presence.

Kindred Spirit: While working on this post today, doing my best to stay somewhat focused through the tugs and calls of motherhood, I noticed a tweet by Sarah Bessey, aka @EmergingMummy. I read her post and I’m so glad I did. I think we’re tuned into the same Frequency. Do yourself a New Year’s favour and check it out.

  • Sarah@EmergingMummy

    Wow! No kidding we were on the same frequency! I have heard this same thing from a few others these past few days – it seems like a message that God is speaking to many of his girls. I loved this post, Idelette – your heart is simply gorgeous and you bring such a unique perspective. Many blessings on your year ahead, friend!

  • idelette

    Thank you, Sarah! I look forward to this year cross-pollenating on Enough. Now if I could only sit quietly for long enough to listen for my word.

  • michelle

    Thank you Idelette! I love to read your words. I can be a very organized person and my favourite time each day is getting my hot tea and coming to sit down and (follow me here) I go to favourites`michelle`blogs`everyday`inspirational`God’s chicks`favourites.

    Your words often turn my day around. Thank you.

    I need to take in your question and think about it. I have to spend some time and figure if I am enough. I think I know it, but I would love to cement it.

    Happy 2011

  • idelette

    Hi Michelle! How wonderful to hear that … thank you. It means so much to know there is someone actually reading the stuff. Thank you! Let me know how you’re doing on the “enough” part. It’s such a journey and I, too, need daily reminders.

  • Alece

    the phrase “i am enough” has been bumping around inside my heart this past year as well. i have lived my entire life with the mindset that i’m not enough. that message was conveyed to me (both directly and indirectly) so much that it became the filter i processed things through. even now, as a 30-something, i feel inadequate. insufficient. not good enough. not smart enough. not brave enough. not _____ enough.

    not enough.

    and then one day in the course of the last 24 months as the world crumbled out from under my feet, deep inside i heard:

    i am enough because I AM is enough.

    and i just froze. even now, that sentence feels like hallowed ground to me. sacred. holy. it amazes me still. i so badly want it to sink down deep inside me. i want it to uproot the message of not-enough-ness and firmly plant itself in its spot, sending its roots down to the core of who i am. i want it to become the filter i see, hear, and experience life through.

    cause that? that would change everything.

    • idelette

      Oooo, Alece, what a beautiful response … I could read your words all day long! We must have been tuned into the same I AM: It was totally when I reflected on I AM that I realized, well, if I AM is enough, I, too, am enough … I love God’s Frequency. Obviously God is speaking something to the girls. For a girl who is shaking off the old clothes of earning love through accomplishment, it’s so big. Thank you for the visit. Will soon be posting my One Word.

  • Alece

    love seeing the fruit of all being “vined” in to the same Spirit!

  • willis

    i remember the first time i read i never believed in all this but i think the happiest people are those who know the lord now problem is how do i get to know god